if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
