Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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