Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
