I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I smell like Dick and happiness
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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