Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Im part way to drunk.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
