why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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