I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We're too hungover to prance.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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