It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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