I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
i've created a new STD.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
