69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
