no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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