Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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