You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
