They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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