Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
