This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
