the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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