I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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