Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
