CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
