How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
