All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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