It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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