is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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