Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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