For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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