your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you would pick up someone in the library
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
