she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
