halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
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