She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
