just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
