Im at strip club and am horny
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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