FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I understand Curling. That high.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
