Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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