I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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