Sponge bath it is.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
