Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
