Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
