The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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