Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
