i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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