um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
