The best revenge is premature balding
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
