I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
