just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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