I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I enjoy the company of your penis
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