your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
