It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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