I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
