You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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