im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
